¹ Then Eliphaz the Temanite responded:

² “If one of us attempts to reason with you, will you be offended?
    Yet who can refrain from speaking?
³ Recall how you instructed many others
    and strengthened their feeble hands.
⁴ Your words have supported those who were staggering,
    and you have made firm their faltering knees.
⁵ “But now that adversity has befallen you, you have grown impatient;
    you are dismayed because it has troubled you.

(Job 4:1-5, NCB)

Job’s friends are the classic Biblical examples of gaslighters: Even though Job had done no wrong, God allowed him to be afflicted greatly, to the point of abject misery; nevertheless, his friends insisted that his troubles were his own fault, due to some evil he had committed.

All the same, there is some truth in Eliphaz’s words here that can profit us. It is good and right to comfort and encourage others when they are suffering (vv. 3-4), but if we don’t have that same positive outlook in our own sufferings, what does that say about our faith? If we tell others to look to God in hardship, we should do the same when it’s our turn to suffer.

So, when we are experiencing a hardship or trial, think of what you’d say to someone else experiencing the same, and then tell yourself that.