Does Scripture Support Friendship Evangelism?
In the preceding post I pointed out—hopefully with success—that the practice of friendship evangelism, as it is often held, is wrong for two reasons: 1) It is insincere because it amounts to using friendship as a means to an end—more on that in Part Five. (It should be emphasized here that it is not friendship that is contrary to the Bible but rather the use of friendship as though it were a tool to accomplish an agenda.) 2) It contradicts what the Bible has to say about man’s nature because no amount of human friendship or kindness can eliminate man’s natural hostility toward Christ and the gospel.

To be fair, however, we should also ask if Scripture provides any support for the idea. When any teaching is presented without biblical support, we should immediately beware of it; indeed we should ask where it even comes from.

Read any literature on this subject, or discuss it with any of its proponents, and you will quickly see that in every case these sources provide very little biblical support for it. The reason for this is very simple: The Bible is silent about it! Those who would try to find support for this method by examining the deeds of Jesus and the apostles as recorded in scripture will look in vain. Neither Jesus nor the apostles ever built friendships as a precursor to communicating truth. They did not use friendship to soften the hostility of the lost and to bring down the barriers they erect. In addition, they did not passively wait for the lost to notice their holy lives or come to them with questions before they began communicating biblical truth to them. Instead they saw the preaching of the truth as their prime directive. They made this clear in their own descriptions of their ministries:

He said to them, “Let us go somewhere else to the towns nearby, so that I may preach there also; for that is what I came for.” (Mark 1:38)

For Christ did not send me to baptize, but to preach the gospel, not in cleverness of speech, so that the cross of Christ would not be made void. (1 Cor. 1:17)

For if I preach the gospel, I have nothing to boast of, for I am under compulsion; for woe is me if I do not preach the gospel. (1 Cor. 9:16)

The passage that is perhaps the most widely used (and abused) to support friendship evangelism is John 4:1–42, the account of Jesus’ interaction with the Samaritan woman at the well. When this passage is examined closely, however, it becomes obvious that it does not support it. The text never mentions the development of a relationship as a prior step to communicating truth. The Samaritan woman and people in her village ended up believing in Jesus, but only because of a verbal message the Lord had communicated to them (John 4:39b, 41–42). Through it all there was no period of time in which relationships with the lost were built. The truth was spoken directly and immediately.

Perhaps the chief reason this passage is used to defend friendship evangelism is because it is thought that Jesus related to her in a personal way that opened doors for speaking truth into her life. Although Jesus certainly engaged her one-on-one in personal conversation, his interaction with her was not what most people today would consider effective for opening doors to conversation. As was typical of the way Christ spoke to everyone else, he spoke the truth to her directly, immediately, bluntly and impersonally. For example, he told her outright that she had had five husbands! He was just as blunt when he told her, “You worship what you do not know; we worship what we know, for salvation is from the Jews” (John 4:22). Proponents of friendship evangelism today would not dare to be so direct when they first met someone for fear of turning the person away. Yet the Lord Himself did not seem to be hindered by such a fear. Should we be?

What, then, did Jesus do? He certainly did not waste any time. He seized the moment and immediately began speaking the truth to her. He told her that He could give her living water (v. 14), that she was a sinner (vv. 17-18), how God must be worshipped (v. 24) and that He was the Messiah (v. 26).

So, what can we say for sure about this passage? It is certainly a historical account of a providentially arranged opportunity for Jesus to communicate truth—an opportunity that He did not waste. Can we say, as do many, that this passage should be seen as a model for evangelism? If so, then certainly we should follow Jesus’ example by speaking truth directly to unbelievers without waiting to develop a relationship first.

Continued in Part Four: Does Friendship Evangelism Meet the Urgent Demands of the Great Commission?

Scripture taken from the NEW AMERICAN STANDARD BIBLE^®, Copyright © 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by the Lockman Foundation. Used by permission.